I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
