This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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