It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
