She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
