My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
