i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Randomize
