i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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