ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
