Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
