We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
