I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
