this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
