I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
