He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
