it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize