suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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