yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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