I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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