he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
