may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
