P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
