Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
