Where did you get a picture of my penis
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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