dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize