What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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