Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yo dont text me then not text me
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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