I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
