i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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