come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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