Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
