So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
