I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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