it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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