I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
