I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
