the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
They have beer where we have blood.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
