So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
