I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
