Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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