How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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