Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
