that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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