Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize