my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
whose ass print is on the piano?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
