stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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