Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
