i think my mom watched the whole time
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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