I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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