so that wasnt chicken after all
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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