Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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