how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
