1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
