So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
