ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
