I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
