WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
