I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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