Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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