I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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