i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
