Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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