I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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