who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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