I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
