THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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