Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
