You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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