We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My penis needs a shock collar
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
