Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Plan B is the new Plan A
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
