I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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