Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize