now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This is my gift to your gina
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
