yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
