i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
